December 2021

Coping with Grief and Loss During the Holiday Season

The holiday season historically represents togetherness and tradition. But when you have experienced the loss of a loved one, this can look very different, and the feelings of pain can become overwhelming. With the leaves falling from the trees and the cold weather looming, the feelings of loss and sadness can increase. The COVID-19 pandemic is still present and as a result, can create increased feelings of isolation and depression. Therefore, activities such as visiting others and traveling to public spaces come with more hesitancy.

Please remember there is not a wrong or right way to grieve the loss of that special someone. Only you can determine the best way to go through your journey. However, things like connecting with family and friends, focusing on good memories, and trying to recapture our sense of joy are all still possible to obtain, if you feel ready for those steps. Know that you are not alone on this journey of grieving. If you are interested in some possible ways to cope with the loss of a loved one this holiday season, see below for ideas from The Psychology Group:

Set Boundaries with Holiday Events
Participate in events that you want to participate in and give yourself permission to skip ones that you aren't ready for. Also, remember that its okay to change your mind!

Tune Into Your Grief Emotions
Your grieving process and the feelings surrounding your grief are unique to you. Be sure to tune into your feelings and not be hard on yourself about feeling how you feel. It is okay!

Plan Ahead to Fill Empty Holiday Roles
Think through holiday activities beforehand. Plan for how to manage the roles your loved one traditionally filled. These traditions can be just as meaningful with modifications, or it could be something you come back to during a future holiday season.

Honor Old Traditions & Honor Memories
Maintaining holiday traditions can help to celebrate the life of the person who isn't celebrating with you in person this year. Honoring the spirit of their traditional holiday contributions can be helpful for your grieving process.

Create New Traditions
Give yourself permission to do the holidays differently! If maintaining old traditions feels too much this year, try changing one (or several) aspects of your season - consider options for travel, décor, food, activities, and visits. New ways of celebrating don't take away from previous years' memories.

Identify Grief Coping Skills
Check in with yourself and review what coping strategies have typically worked well for you. These could include things like getting outside, meditation, watching a favorite TV show, or asking a friend/family member for a deep-pressure hug. Have your list handy for the inevitable sudden feelings of sorrow.

Do Something Charitable
Spreading joy to others can help you to find joy as well. Consider what ways you might be able to give to others this holiday season. See resources below for a few local opportunities.

Ask For Help When Struggling with Grief
Even without grief, holidays can be a time with many different kinds of emotions. DO reach out to your village for support. Remember too, that your village may include both professional (social workers, counselors, faith leaders) or personal supports (friends, family, co-workers, neighbors).

Above all, remember to be gentle with yourself this holiday season.

This month's article was written by Kenesha Wood, one of two social work practicum students working with OCDoA's Aging Transitions team this academic year. Kenesha is a first year student with UNC's MSW program.

Additional Resources

For more information, check out:

From AARP
Dealing with Grief During the Holiday Season

From AgingCare.com
Grieving for a Dying Loved One During the Holidays

From The Psychology Group
Positive Affirmations

From Navigate NC
Caregiver Support: Handling Stress and Grief During the Holidays

Local Volunteer Opportunities:
Chapel Hill Service League Christmas House
Habitat for Humanity of Orange County
Inter-Faith Council for Social Service
Meals on Wheels Orange County NC
Orange County Social Services Holiday Program
SECU Family House

Announcements

Senior Center Update:
Previously scheduled outdoor group programs have moved inside with limited capacity. Social distancing and masks are required at both senior centers. We continue to offer virtual and hybrid (combination in-person and virtual) programs, information, individual services, and one-on-one appointments Monday - Friday; 8 am - 5 pm.

For more information please see:

Activity Calendar: Download a copy of our monthly Activity Calendar including all of our videos, live classes, and online programs.
Endless Possibilities Activity Guide: View the latest Endless Possibilities (formerly Senior Times) for all of our programs, services, and resources.
Information & Services: Information, individual services, and one-on-one appointments are available M-F, 8 am - 5 pm. For an appointment, please contact the Aging Transitions Services Helpline at 919-968-2087.
Lunch Program: Meals are available via curbside pick-up. Email Isabel Jackson or call 919-245-4256 for more information or to register for our Lunch Program.
New or Modified Programs, Services and Resources for older adults during the COVID-19 crisis and beyond here.
Register Online: Register for classes online. Choose display option "Detail" and search by title, activity code and more to find and register for your class or event.

For regular updates about senior center programming, please subscribe to the biweekly Endless Possibilities e-newsletter.

Flu Season is Here

Why get the flu vaccine? It protects you from the flu – and its worst symptoms. It is safe to get your flu vaccine at the same time as a COVID-19 booster or primary series. Go to flu.nc.gov to find out where you can get your flu vaccination.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends vaccination against the flu for everyone 6 months and older with any licensed, age-appropriate flu vaccine. Vaccination is the best way to prevent infection with the flu.

This year, it is more important than ever to get a flu vaccination, considering the continued presence of the COVID-19 viral global pandemic that has already claimed more than 205,000 American lives. Widespread flu and COVID-19 at the same time could overwhelm our health care system, making it hard for people to get medical care they may need.

Millions of Americans get the flu each year. It is estimated that at least 39 million people became sick due to flu-related illness during the 2019-20 flu season, leading to more than 18 million medical visits, 410,000 hospitalizations, and at least 24,000 deaths. Vaccination has been shown to reduce the risk of flu-related illnesses, hospitalizations and deaths.

Everyone 18+ years who is fully vaccinated against COVID-19 is eligible for a booster.

Brief Counseling Services

Our team of social workers are available to work with older adults and caregivers for brief counseling services, free of charge. We can work with you on issues including anxiety, depression, caregiver stress and loneliness.

Contact the Aging Helpline for more information: (919) 968-2087.

Handyperson Recommendations

Have you hired a fair, helpful, and trustworthy handyperson? We are compiling a list of individuals who assist with home repair work in our community. If you had a positive experience with a particular person or company and would recommend them to a neighbor, please share!

Complete our online recommendation form or call the Aging Helpline (919-968-2087) to submit your recommendation.

In Need of Incontinence Supplies?

Thanks to generous donations, the Department on Aging has a supply of incontinence supplies including: bed pads, pull up briefs, adult diapers, wipes, and adult booster pads. If you are in need of any of these items, we may be able to provide you with up to one pack per month (depending on availability of the items requested). Contact the Aging Helpline (919-968-2087 or Agingtransitions@Orangecountync.gov) to request supplies.

Dementia Friendly Orange County

The Orange County Dementia Friendly Business Program is now offering virtual trainings!

Dementia Friendly organizations aim to be aware and accommodating of the needs of patrons with dementia or other special needs. Thank your local businesses for being a Dementia Friendly Partner or ask them to become one!

Activity Engagement Coaching

It can be challenging to find ways to keep loved ones with dementia engaged throughout the day. For caregivers connected to our various dementia support programs, we are now offering one-on-one consultations where we can brainstorm together with you to identify enjoyable activities that are:

person-centered, i.e. tailored to your loved one’s current and past interests, likes, preferences
meaningful
appropriately modified to current level of cognitive ability, thereby reducing frustration and stress

If interested, please contact Lisa Meinert (919-245-4251), certified Dementia Care Partner and Activity Professional.

Planning for a Surgery? Borrow your equipment!

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Upcoming Programs

Physical, Emotional, & Social Wellbeing

Orange County Caregiver Support Groups

Support groups are resuming in person meetings! The first session of each month will meet at the designated senior center, with the second meeting happening via Zoom. These support groups are a space to meet with other caregivers to share experiences, learn new skills, and get answers to questions about dementia and other long-term disabilities.

Chapel Hill Support Group

Contact Kim Lamon-Loperfido to join - kloperfido@orangecountync.gov or 919-245-4253.

Friday, December 3 at 10:30am via Zoom
Friday, December 17 at 10:30am via Zoom

Hillsborough Support Group
Contact Kendall Kopchick to join - kkopchick@orangecountync.gov or 919-245-4278.

Thursday, December 2 at 1pm via Zoom
Thursday, December 16 at 1pm via Zoom

Chapel Hill Parkinson's Support Group

This month's meeting will be a split group open discussion. Available via Zoom - contact Jessica Shurer for more information and to RSVP.

Care Partner Meeting: Tuesday, December 7 at 12:30pm
People with PD Meeting: Tuesday, December 7 at 2:30pm

Chapel Hill PSP & CBD Support Group

Support group for Progressive Supranuclear Palsy and Corticobasal Degeneration. This month's topic is 'Bladder changes with PSP and CBD,' led by Dr. Kristy Borawski, nerogenic bladder-specialist urologist at UNC. Available via Zoom - contact Jessica Shurer for more information and to RSVP.

Wednesday, December 1 at 1:30pm

Fit Seniors

At-Home exercise and wellness options designed to help keep you fit and healthy with your favorite OCDOA fitness instructors: http://www.co.orange.nc.us/2371/Fit-Seniors.

Memory Café
Memory Café has returned at various locations around the county. We invite people living with memory loss and their care partners to join us for a fun, casual social outing! Contact Kendall (919-245-4278) for more information and registration.

Thursday, December 9; 2pm at the Carolina Inn

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Educational Events

Caregiver Education Series: Hospice 101
Carrie Knoernschild, Care Transition Coordinator at Heartland Hospice, will discuss Hospice care and debunk some myths about Hospice programs. Register in advance for this meeting. Contact Kendall (919-245-4278) for more information.

Monday, Monday December 6; 10am-11am

Dementia - Let's Talk About It
Join OCDoA’s dementia care specialists for a conversation around topics related to dementia education, living with cognitive change, and being a dementia caregiver. We will provide 15-30 minutes of education at the start of the hour, and the remaining time will be spent in conversation, Q&A, and resource-sharing around the day’s topic. Contact Marie (919-245-4279) for more information and registration.

Tuesday, December 7 at 10:15am: Tools for Dementia Caregiving
Tuesday, December 21 at 10:15am: Delirium

Let's Talk About Senior Driver Safety
As we get older, changes in physical, mental and sensory abilities can challenge a person's ability to drive safely. To promote awareness, Dec 6-10 is Older Driver Safety Awareness Week. Join in virtually to hear from Brandi Beeker, Transportation Specialist, and Marie Dagger, Occupational Therapist, to learn more about the issues and solutions available to seniors in Orange County. Contact Brandi for more information and registration: BBeeker@orangecountync.gov or 919-717-1853.

Thursday, December 9 at 12 noon

Contact Us

For more information, resources, and services, please reach out to our team through the Aging Information & Referral Helpline:

919-968-2087

or

AgingTransitions@orangecountync.gov